Your Welcome


Alright, kiddies, this hasn’t been so difficult, has it? To review, we’ve learned how to use “lie” and “lay” correctly (never to say again that you’ve been layin’ around all day), and how never to use an adverb before “unique” or “perfect.” Easy, right? My theory is that any nincompoop can consume and digest a passable amount of grammar when fed in small, palatable doses (note the really tight metaphor in this sentence).

Today’s lesson deals with two horribly abused and misused words, which I suspect fall victim to sheer laziness rather than a lack of understanding: to wit, your and you’re. If I am wanting to borrow a particularly cute pair of shoes from you, I might say, “Let me wear your shoes.” I would probably hear in return from you, “Girl, you must be kidding. You’re not stuffing your fat feet in my Louboutins!” “Your” is a possessive pronoun and must modify or describe a noun while “you’re” is a contraction of the two words, “you are,” a pronoun and a verb. As you can easily see, misuse of these two words can occur only in writing since both sound almost the same in speech (few people are capable of making that subtle distinction in pronunciation).

So, slow down your thumb texting, reflect a bit when making a comment on Facebook, and do a little editing before sending off an email to your boss, writing “Your an idiot,” because you do know the difference, and that difference can be critical. Your never going to succeed in business if you’re grammar isn’t really perfect.

And by the way, today’s title came straight from the internet. I googled it and it offered no correction, so be wary, dear readers.

Until next time, my little pronoun polluters…

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Who’s Really Unique
or the Most Perfect?


Simply put, the answer is no one. Why? Because, dear syntactical scofflaws, unique is one of those wonderful words permitting no degree of uniqueness. Like the word “perfect,” “unique” by its very definition, stands alone. To be unique or perfect is to be without peer or equal, to be unlike any person or thing. Therefore, there cannot be a “most unique” situation, nor can there be a “really perfect dessert.” Any adverb you may be tempted to add as a further description of “unique” or “perfect” marks you  as a linguistic loser. Yes, you do hear people saying and writing these words in combination with adverbs every day, but that hardly makes them correct.

The next time you hear someone say, “Man, that was a really unique hairball your cat just tossed,” or “She had the most perfect nose after her plastic surgery,” feel smug that you know how to use these words correctly. There is always that subtle temptation, that siren song of language, whispering in your ear that you must amp up “unique” or “perfect” because, otherwise, your words may go unnoticed. Fight the seduction and stay strong. Unique and perfect can stand alone quite well, thank you very much.

Until next time…

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